Hi friends! I haven’t posted in a while because that last post took a lot out of me. I have also been trying to figure out my life, per usual.
I have struggled a lot this year, but the past couple months have taught me a lot. I have learned that no one is me, and that is my power. No one has my brain, or my thoughts, or emotions. Which is truly beautiful if you think about it. I am feeling very strong these days, which is an amazing feeling. Of course I still have my bad moments, but now they are feeling more like moments and less like full days or even weeks.
I started a new medication which I believe has helped a lot. I don’t sleep my days away like I used to. In fact, I can’t sleep for as long as I used to, even if I try (which I guess is ultimately a good thing). I have noticed myself getting very impatient though, like when I’m driving and I just wish I could teleport to where I’m going so I don’t have to waste my time driving there. Or when I’m trying to sleep and I can’t (which is unusual) or at night when I wish it was the next day already (which is also unusual, but exciting because I never used to have that feeling).
I have a lot planned for my life. Which is what has gotten me through this past year. I actually have so many plans and ideas now, that sometimes I get stressed about it all! A good stressed, I suppose, but then my anxiety starts to creep in.
I saw a quote recently that said, “Not all storms come to disrupt your life, some come to clear your path.” I thought that was an interesting perspective. I started applying that to my own life and it has made all the difference, really. Instead of feeling bad for myself and my situation, I’ve been looking at it as a way to help others and even myself.
If you’ve heard the song “Life Changes” by Thomas Rhett, you know the lyric, “You make your plans and you hear God laughing” and I could not relate more. I never would have thought I would change my major to business, or start a plan to open my own boutique, or be an aspiring photographer or a model. Life is crazy, but it’s pretty great, too.
